This week has been utterly crappy. I miss my friends I miss the way things were. I don't remember what happened this week but i do remember my feelings and they were basically so sad. Ugh on Monday I hung with the other little group and same with Tuesday. By the end of the day we were supposed to be made up but we aren't. On Wednesday I just chilled with Jasmine and on Thursday they ditched me and hung between the three of them while I went to art club. Yesterday I remember very well. I spent the day crying. In first period I broke down crying and had to leave class and while I was out there for like 5 minutes Analise came out and talked to me, I don't want her to be torn between us I want her to be happy, and with the way things are that isn't gonna happen. She helped me try to calm down. Mr. Carlson also helped me in a way, because he held me after class and talked to me which made me a little happier. In second period I tried to look happy but Michelle looked passed all of that, and saw that I was still upset so I talked to her and she said it sucks but I shouldn't let them treat me like this so, I've decided that I'm done crying (or I'm gonna try to) and I don't want to care anymore. No one is going to upset me anymore, I want to be like Jasmine in a way, she has what she has in life, and she doesn't care what people do about it. I also talked to Jasmine after class because she also noticed and so did Mark. Why does everyone else notice but Natalie and Breanna???? I guess it just doesn't matter enough for them to get out of their nice peachy lives and notice reality. The way things are going I just don't want to be their friends anymore. I'm just so sad now a days and it really is affecting me. I need to get over it and get over them, other wise it will kill me inside and out. Today was ok-ish. I wanted to go to Scandia with Jackus, Mari, Bryanne, and Cindy but my mother changed her mind at the last minute, and I got kind of pissed, but then I realized it was better because I'm not really in the mood to see friends and pretend that i'm happy when I'm really not. And on top of that, Jackie I know for sure isn't gonna be in the greatest mood, because her and Tony broke up, so I don't feel like comforting her when I can't even comfort myself. I know that sounds selfish but lately I haven't been in the mood for much. On Monday shes gonna be my main priority though because she is amazing.

I just want my friends, I want to be happy, I want to move on, I just want things to be like they were before!