days like these are the ones which make me wanna turn 18 already. those fights that we get into for no freggin reason, getting slapped across the face for a wrong look. these days make me wanna get older that way i can grow up and move out of this place. it's crazy too, since its not always like this. sometimes its really good but other times, its just really bad. this does not help my confidence in any ways. i hate it so much. i want things to be good again, i don't want them to be like this i just don't. i know that they aren't going to change for a while and as long as we both don't change. which i know isn't gonna happen as long as i live. we're related, i'm just like her. i know now that no matter what, i love her although times are really bad sometimes i love her and thats never going to stop.
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christmas was amazing, i got an iPod, Mamma Mia!, the Twilight soundtrack, clothes, lotions, make up, hair dye, and earrings. Spent it with family ate menudo (yummy) had had fun. Very relaxing day which I never wanna change at all. I love my family, I love the people in my life, only sometimes i wish that it was enough.
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I miss my best friends, not like not seeing them, but i miss the way that things were, not only does it make me really sad, but i don't even know what i did. Nothing is the same, and I wanted to try and go all of break without thinking of this painful stuff, but tonight brought surface alot of painful stuff being slapped made me think of the future and how much i can't wait for it, but i just don't know what to do anymore. i know i don't want to care, but i just can't not care she was one true friends, but i guess i was wrong, and now i can see that its affecting our other friendships. ugh, i hate my life.